WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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