did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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