She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
