Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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