you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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