oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
