I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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