did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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