i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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