At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize