Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize