So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
