Betty ford says i'm here all night
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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