i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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