We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
