I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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