We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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