I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
