she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
