You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think I sprained my soul last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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