At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
are you so shy because you have an std?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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