Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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