Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
How's work?
Spinning.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
