We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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