I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
