Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
