Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
