i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
