so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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