Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
