YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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