your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
