How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
