I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Don't EVER smell your tampon
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
