i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
