My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize