glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
