In the future we'll all be gay
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
