I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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