He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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