Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
