your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
