I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Come on in and take your pants off
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