need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The uberlube is also flammable
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
