your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
