So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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