How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
