Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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