i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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