i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
