white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
