I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
