Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize