roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I still have a little drunk in my system
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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