Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
