i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
