in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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